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Megaphone battle
Megaphone
Megaphone Icon
Basic information
Track: Toon-Up
Level: 2
Accuracy: Medium
Affects: All Toons
Statistics
Minimum heal: 15
Maximum heal: 18
Organic boost: 16-19
Carry capacity
Minimum: 5
Maximum: 25
Lineage
Preceded by:
Feather

Feather

Succeeded by:
Lipstick

Lipstick

Skill points gained:

20

Skill points needed:

200

Sound files
AA heal telljoke

The Megaphone is the level two Toon-Up gag that is used to heal all other Toons in a Cog battle. Once a Toon earns 200 skill points, they will gain the Lipstick. It succeeds the Feather.

Animation

  1. The Toon runs to the center of the Cog battle and pulls a megaphone out of his/her pocket.
  2. The Toon explains a joke through the megaphone.
  3. Other Toons in the Cog battle are healed by a certain amount of laff points depending on the quality of the joke. If the megaphone "misses," it gives 2 points; if it hits when used on only one Toon, it gives a maximum of 18 laff.

Jokes

  • What goes Ha Ha Ha Thud? Someone laughing his head off.
  • What do you get if you cross a germ with a comedian? Sick jokes.
  • Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip to outer space? He wanted to find Pluto.
  • What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
  • What's a polygon? A dead parrot.
  • What bird can be heard at mealtimes? A swallow.
  • What would you you get if you crossed an elephant with a computer? A big know-it-all.
  • What's gray and squirts jam at you? A mouse eating a doughnut.
  • Why are Saturday and Sunday so strong? Because the other days are weekdays!
  • Why didn't the monster make the football team? Because he threw like a ghoul!
  • Where did the whale go when it was bankrupt? To the loan shark.
  • Why wouldn't they let the butterfly into the dance? Because it was a moth ball.
  • What lies on its back 100 feet in the air? A sleeping centipede!
  • What's white with black and red spots? A Dalmatian with measles.
  • What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? It must be Spring, here comes a swallow.
  • What did the appendix say to the kidney? The doctor's taking me out tonight.
  • Why are elephants big and gray? Because if they were small and yellow, they'd be canaries.
  • What do you get if you cross an elephant with a canary? A very messy cage.
  • Why did Goofy take his comb to the dentist? Because it had lost all its teeth.
  • What do you call a blind dinosaur? An I-don't-think-he-saurus.
  • What goes Oh, Oh, Oh? Santa walking backwards!
  • What do you give an elephant with big feet? Big shoes.
  • What do you call a very popular perfume? A best-smeller.
  • What do you get if you cross a camera with a crocodile? A snap shot.
  • Where does Ariel the mermaid go to see movies? The dive-in.
  • Why did the pelican refuse to pay for his meal? His bill was too big.
  • What do giraffes have that no other animal has? Baby giraffes.
  • What are two things you can't have for breakfast? Lunch and dinner.
  • What did the doctor say to the sick orange? Are you peeling well?
  • What do you get if you cross a cat with a dog? An animal that chases itself.
  • Did you hear about the dentist that married the manicurist? Within a month they were fighting tooth and nail.
  • What do you get if you cross an elephant with a crow? Lots of broken telephone poles.
  • What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost.
  • What did the elephant say to her naughty child? Tusk! Tusk!
  • What's worse then a giraffe with a sore throat? A centipede with athlete's foot.
  • If athletes get tennis elbow, what do astronauts get? Missile toe.
  • What do mermaids have on toast? Mermarlade.
  • Why aren't elephants allowed on beaches? They can't keep their trunks up.
  • Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
  • What do you get if you cross a bear and a skunk? Winnie-the-phew.
  • What's a cow after she gives birth? De-calf-inated!
  • What do you get if you cross a cow and a camel? Lumpy milk shakes.
  • Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
  • What do you get if you cross a hyena with a bouillon cube? An animal that makes a laughing stock of itself.
  • What do elephants say when they bump into each other? Small world, isn't it?
  • Why did the dirty chicken cross the road? For some fowl purpose.
  • Why did the burglar take a shower? To make a clean getaway.
  • What do you get if you cross a chicken with cement? A brick-layer.
  • What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while I go on ahead.
  • Why did Goofy wear his shirt in the bath? Because the label said wash and wear.
  • What do you get if you cross a dog with a phone? A golden receiver.
  • My friend thinks he's a rubber band. I told him to snap out of it.
  • What's gray, weighs 10 pounds and squeaks? A mouse that needs to go on a diet.
  • What did the elephant say to the lemon? Let's play squash.
  • What's furry, meows and chases mice underwater? A catfish.
  • What goes dot-dot-dash-dash-squeak? Mouse code.
  • What travels around the world but stays in the corner? A stamp.
  • What has green hair and runs through the forest? Moldy locks.
  • What did the stocking say to the shoe? See you later, I gotta run.
  • What do you get if you cross a chicken with a banjo? A self-plucking chicken.
  • What do frogs like to sit on? Toadstools.
  • Why can't you tell a joke to a snake? Because you can never pull their legs.
  • Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
  • What's an elephant in a fridge called? A very tight squeeze.
  • What did the balloon say to the pin? Hi, Buster.
  • Why was the school clock punished? It tocked too much.
  • What do you call a sick duck? A mallardy.
  • What do you give a pig with a sore throat? Oinkment.
  • How does a sick sheep feel? Baah-aahd.
  • What did the bee say to the rose? Hi, Bud.
  • Why did the apple go out with a fig? Because it couldn't find a date.
  • Why did the dog chase his tail? To make ends meet!
  • What do you call a duck that robs banks? A safe quacker.
  • What color is a shout? Yellow!
  • What works only when it's fired? A rocket.
  • Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
  • When is the vet busiest? When it's raining cats and dogs.
  • What did the big hand say to the little hand? Got a minute?
  • What do you get if you cross a railway engine with a stick of gum? A chew-chew train.
  • What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
  • What's the best way to catch a rabbit? Hide in a bush and make a noise like lettuce.
  • What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
  • What do you call a spider that just got married? A newly web.
  • Why was the math book unhappy? It had too many problems.
  • What did the carpet say to the floor? I've got you covered.
  • What did the tablecloth say to the table? Don't move, I've got you covered.
  • What did the window say to the Venetian blinds? If it wasn't for you, it'd be curtains for me.
  • What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You're too young to smoke.
  • Why are false teeth like stars? They come out at night.
  • Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie? Because you can see right through him.
  • How do trains hear? Through the engineers.
  • What's the best parting gift? A comb.
  • What's a lazy shoe called? A loafer.
  • What did the cashier say to the register? I'm counting on you.
  • What has six eyes but cannot see? Three blind mice.
  • What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a spider? A hare net.
  • What kind of mistakes do spooks make? Boo boos.
  • Why did the man hit the clock? Because the clock struck first.
  • Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.
  • What's Tarzan's favorite song? Jungle Bells.
  • Why do male deer need braces? Because they have buck teeth!
  • Why do elephants wear running shoes? For jogging, of course.
  • Why does a sheep have a woolly coat? Because he'd look silly in a plastic one.
  • What's the best way to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
  • Why did Donald put sugar on his pillow? He wanted to have sweet dreams.
  • How do you clean a tuba? With a tuba toothpaste.
  • What do you get if you cross a jeweler with a plumber? A ring around the bathtub.
  • Why did the archaeologist go bankrupt? Because his career was in ruins.
  • Why did the baker stop making doughnuts? He got sick of the hole business.
  • Why did the mouse wear brown sneakers? His white ones were in the wash.
  • What kind of cats like to go bowling? Alley cats.
  • What would you get if you crossed an elephant with a skunk? A big stinker.
  • What's green and loud? A froghorn!
  • What's in the middle of a jellyfish? A jellybutton.
  • What's green and jumps up and down? Lettuce at a dance.
  • Why do potatoes argue all the time? They can't see eye to eye.
  • How do you keep a bull from charging? Take away his credit card.
  • What does a skunk do when it's angry? It raises a stink.
  • Why do mummies make excellent spies? They're good at keeping things under wraps.
  • Why was Cinderella such a bad player? She had a pumpkin for a coach.
  • Why don't witches ride their brooms when they're angry? They don't want to fly off the handle!
  • What's green, noisy and dangerous? A thundering herd of cucumbers.
  • What's round, white and giggles? A tickled onion.
  • What's green on the outside and yellow inside? A banana disguised as a cucumber.
  • What did the digital watch say to the grandfather clock? Look, Dad, no hands.
  • Where do ghosts pick up their mail? At the ghost office.
  • Did you hear about the man who hated Santa? He suffered from Claustrophobia.
  • What do you get if you cross a Cocker Spaniel with a Poodle and a rooster? A cockapoodledoo!
  • What goes zzub-zzub? A bee flying backwards.
  • Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don't know the words.
  • What do you give an elephant with big feet? Big shoes.
  • What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
  • Why do dinosaurs have long necks? Because their feet smell.
  • Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party? Because everyone was a goblin!
  • What goes ABC...slurp...DEF...slurp? Someone eating alphabet soup.
  • What's a funny egg called? A practical yolker!
  • What weighs 4 tons, has a trunk and is bright red? An embarrassed elephant.
  • What did the flea say to the other flea? Shall we walk or take the cat?
  • What's brown, has four legs and a trunk? A mouse coming back from vacation.
  • What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
  • What did the soil say to the rain? Stop, or my name is mud!
  • What do people do in clock factories? They make faces all day.
  • What do you get if you cross a plum with a tiger? A purple people eater.
  • Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare centers.
  • What's gray, weighs 200 pounds and says, "Here kitty, kitty?" A 200 pound mouse.
  • How do you stop an elephant from going through the eye of a needle? Tie a knot in its tail.
  • Where does a peacock go when he loses his tail? A retail store.
  • Why did Pluto sleep with a banana peel? So he could slip out of bed in the morning.
  • What do you get if you cross an elephant with a shark? Swimming trunks with sharp teeth.
  • What's the difference between a fish and a piano? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
  • What do you get if you cross a hyena with a mynah bird? An animal that laughs at its own jokes!
  • What's gray, weighs 4 tons, and wears glass slippers? Cinderelephant.
  • What did the ballerina do when she hurt her foot? She called the toe truck!
  • Where would you weigh a whale? At a whale-weigh station.
  • What do you call a gorilla wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he can't hear you.
  • What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me, something smells.
  • What did the necklace say to the hat? You go ahead, I'll hang around.
  • Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? His ghoul friend.
  • Why did the baby turkey bolt down his food? Because he was a little gobbler.
  • Did you hear about the time Goofy ate a candle? He wanted a light snack!
  • What needs a bath and keeps crossing the street? A dirty double crosser.
  • Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything.
  • My sister thinks she's a pair of curtains. I told her to pull herself together!
  • What do you call a mosquito with a tin suit? A bite in shining armor.
  • What's the best way to save water? Dilute it.
  • What did the puddle say to the rain? Drop in sometime.
  • If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become? Wet.
  • What do you get if you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic? Very wet.
  • What do you get when you cross a parrot with a monster? A creature that gets a cracker whenever it asks for one.
  • What did Snow White say to the photographer? Someday my prints will come.
  • What did the peanut say to the elephant? Nothing -- Peanuts can't talk.
  • What does the winner of a marathon lose? His breath.
  • What goes tick-tick-tick-woof? A watchdog!
  • How do you communicate with a fish? Drop him a line.
  • What do you call a dinosaur that's never late? A prontosaurus.
  • Why did the dolphin cross the wave? To get to the other tide.
  • What does the sea say to the sand? Not much. It usually waves.
  • What's at the end of everything? The letter G.
  • What's wrong if you keep seeing talking animals? You're having Disney spells.

Trivia

  • This is the only gag that makes the Toon speak automatically.
  • When a Toon uses a Sound gag, the item comes out of a megaphone.

Gallery

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