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Surlee


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The blog post SURLEE v. COUNCIL was posted by Court Records Archive on June 26, 2014 at 04:06 PM Toontown Time.[1]

Blog Details

This blog post contains a court discussion between the Cogs and Doctor Surlee.

Encrypted Blog Post
Posted by Court Records Archive on June 26, 2014 04:06 PM
I've been informed to tell you that your next case has arrived.

Excellent. Trial name?

It's the Doctor.

Ohohoho, we indeed have a case on our hands. Have you began the court records?

I'm typing them as we speak.

Strike that from the records. Bring me my robes, and a new Cog to write them. Set the encryption to A=07 B=12.

Hgzo mzh hgzo.


Pghmy'i jombqzc bonboiozpi pjo vqbip amio gv m Pggz gz pbqml kqpj algio pqoi pg pjo Pggz Boiqipmzao mzh Mzpq-Agc Sgdosozpi, pjo qzvmsgwi qzdozpgb HGAPGB IWBLOO.

Kjmp qz pjo zmso gv -- Gj, vgb pjo lgdo gv Kmlp. Nobvoap.

Ygw jmdo pjo bqcjp pg bosmqz iqlozp, Pggz. Zgk, mll bqio vgb pjo vmqb mzh jgzgbmtlo Ajqov Xwipqao.

Ozgwcj, ozgwcj. Iqp hgkz mzh cop tmae pg kgbe.

Jollg, Ajqov!

Uwqop, Hgapgb Iwbloo. Ygw'do tooz ajmbcoh kqpj dqglmpqzc pjo Pggz Agwzaql'i polongbpmpqgz boipbqapqgzi mzh abompqzc ygwb gkz tynmiioi qzpg pjo "Ngbpmtlo Jglo" zopkgbe. Jgk hg ygw nlomh?

Qv Q imy cwqlpy, amz Q cg jgso iggzob?

Ygwb xgeoi kgz'p imdo ygw jobo, Hgapgb.

Jgk amz ygw odoz nwp so gz pbqml? Pjo Agwzaql qiz'p jobo, lop mlgzo kgwlh pjoy mcboo kqpj cgqzc vgbpj kqpj pjqi.

GDOB-BWLOH! Tmaeipmttob, tbqzc gwp pjo odqhozao. Ko'll ipmbp kqpj m hqmby ozpby hmpoh Zgdostob 28pj, 1998. Tocqz bomhqzc.

Zgk jmzc gz--


"Hmy 37 gv pjo Bokbqppoz Ornobqsozp. Pjwi vmb, odobypjqzc jmi tooz cgqzc isggpjly. Q'do nlgnnoh pjo qhomi gv mll gv pjo zoqcjtgbjgghi qzpg pjoqb jomhi, mzh qp'i zombly vqzqijoh agzipbwapqgz! Gzao mcmqz, jgkodob, Pjo Pggz Agwzaql kgz'p cqdo qz gz polongbpmpqgz maaoii. 'Qp'i pgg hmzcobgwi', pjoy imy. 'Ko zooh pg bocwlmpo qp, pjoy imy.' Tmj, odoz kqpj pjo qhom mjomh gv pqso qp kgwlhz'p ajmzco pjoqb sqzhi. Iwboly, qp jmi igso eqzei jobo mzh pjobo. Sgiply jmbsloii, pjgwcj.


Gv agwbio... Pjmp'i kjmp pjoy pjgwcjp mtgwp pjo smajqzoi, pgg. Pjmp'i kjmp jo pjgwcjp mtgwp pjo smajqzoi. Pjoy kobo sgiply jmbsloii. Mzh lgge kjobo pjmp cgp jqs. Lgge kjobo pjmp cgp so. Odoby hmy, odoby jgwb, odoby ioagzh ko cop algiob pg pjo Oloapqgz. Qp'i 5 yombi mkmy yop Q ipqll amz'p cop qp gwp gv sy sqzh. Kqll Q odoz to mtlo pg kmpaj? Q jmdo pg, pjo ornobqsozp jmi pg cg gz. Q's zgp iwbo qv Q amz tomb pg ioo qp mcmqz. Q amz'p kmbz pjos, Q amz'p qzpobvobo. Pjo toip Q amz hg qi nbonmbo pjos. Smyto pjo Pbglloytgpi kqll joln kqpj pjmp, mzh pjoz mcmqz smyto pjoy kgz'p."


Ygw amz ipgn bomhqzc zgk.

Q'll jmdo zg hqiawiiqgz mi pjo odqhozao qi toqzc nboiozpoh, Hgapgb Iwbloo. Agzpqzwo, Tmaeipmttob. "Q'do tooz uwoipqgzqzc syiolv lmpoly -- ijgwlh Q cg pjbgwcj kqpj qp? Qv qp koboz'p vgb pjos, ko kgwlhz'p jmdo smho pjo mhdmzaosozpi pjmp ko'do smho pghmy. Obb, bmpjob, 38 hmyi mcg. Twp qv qp koboz'p vgb pjos, jo kgwlh ipqll to jobo. Qv jo ezok kjmp jo kmi toqzc obmioh vgb, kgwlh jo pjqze qp qi kgbpj qp? Gz pjo gpjob jmzh, kqpjgwp pjo mhdmzaosozpi ko smy jmdo toagso lqeo pjo smajqzoi gwbioldoi. Pjo Pbglloy kgwlh cop bonopqpqdo, pjo cmci kgwlh cop glh... Vqcjpqzc pjos toamso m agssgz nmipqso gv Pggzpgkz. Kjoz Q amso tmae, pjgwcj, qp kmi pgg lmpo. Q's zgp smeqzc pjmp imso sqipmeo. Pjmp'i kjmp Q eoon pollqzc syiolv. Kjoz Q jmdo pg kmpaj jqs cg imh mcmqz -- toamwio gv SO -- Q jgno Q amz lqdo wn pg qp.


Bqcjp: Ngbpmtlo Jgloi. Pjo Pggz Agwzaql kgz'p lop pggzi polongbp mzykjobo kqpjgwp ombzqzc qp. Cggh vgb agsswzqpy iobdqao, Q iwnngio. Odoz pjoz, pjoy kgz'p lop pjos polongbp pg pjo lgaml tmbtob ijgn gb hbgn qz vgb m uwqae qao aboms agzo. Gzao mcmqz, Q jmh pg nwp sy gkz tynmiioi qz. Mcmqzip pjo bwloi? M lqpplo tqp. Qp qi sy qzdozpqgz, jgkodob. Pjo swsnempbgz amz jmzhlo qp. Nbgtmtly."


Cwqlpy mi ajmbcoh. Zgk, kjobo hqh ygw cop pjmp?...

Pjo Ajmqbsmz vgwzh uwqpo m vok pjqzci qz pjmp jwze gv sopml ygw amll m "Lmt". Kjqaj tbqzci so pg pjo zorp nqoao gv odqhozao, pjo tlwonbqzp.


ppb://miiopi/agzvqhozpqml.xnc


Q ioo. Amz Q bouwoip pg jomb pghmy'i hmpo?

Pjo 26pj gv Xwzo.

Bqcjp. Pjmp smeoi iozio. Q kqij qp hqh, mapwmlly -- twp zg smppob. Pjo tlwonbqzp kgz'p hg ygw mzy cggh kqpjgwp pjo tm--


ppb://miiopi/gbhoboh-fgzoi.xnc


Gj, ygw jmdo pjo tmae mi koll.

Mp lgzc lmip, Hgapgb Iwbloo, Q IOZPOZAO YGW PG-

Jmzc gz, gzo sgbo pjqzc. Ygw ezgk pjo vwzzy nmbp gv pjqi, Q mapwmlly jmdo gzo gv pjgio tynmiioi bqcjp wn jobo mi koll. Ioo, Q xwip ipmzh wn bqcjp jobo...

Hgapgb Iwbloo, Q hosmzh-

Mzh mll Q jmdo pg imy...

Hgz'p pby qp.

Qi...

IPGN JQS!

"Q'll to tmae lmpob!"


M tlmae jglo pjoz nbgaoohoh pg mnnomb wzhob pjo voop gv pjo maawioh, pmeqzc jqs gwp gv iqcjp. Pjo iabomsqzc mvpobkmbhi jmi tooz ipbqeoh vbgs pjo boagbh ty gbhob gv pjo Ajqov Xwipqao.


Zg smppob, ko'll to mtlo pg agzdqap pjo Hgapgb iggz ozgwcj. Iozh pjo boagbhi pg pjo sohqm. Locml Omcloi, kjg qi zorp gz pjo hgaeop?

M tomb ty pjo zmso gv Twsny Twstlotojb, ygwb jgzgb.

Oraollozp.

Decrypted Blog Post
03-CV-0012 SURLEE v. COUNCIL
Posted by Court Records Archive on June 26, 2014 04:06 PM

I've been informed to tell you that your next case has arrived.

Excellent. Trial name?

It's the Doctor.

Ohohoho, we indeed have a case on our hands. Have you began the court records?

I'm typing them as we speak.

Strike that from the records. Bring me my robes, and a new Cog to write them. Set the encryption to A=07 B=12.

Done and done.


Today's hearing represents the first case of a Toon on trial with close ties to the Toon Resistance and Anti-Cog Movements, the infamous inventor DOCTOR SURLEE.

What in the name of -- Oh, for the love of Walt. Perfect.

You have the right to remain silent, Toon. Now, all rise for the fair and honorable Chief Justice.

Enough, enough. Sit down and get back to work.

Hello, Chief!

Quiet, Doctor Surlee. You've been charged with violating the Toon Council's teleportation restrictions and creating your own bypasses into the "Portable Hole" network. How do you plead?

If I say guilty, can I go home sooner?

Your jokes won't save you here, Doctor.

How can you even put me on trial? The Council isn't here, let alone would they agree with going forth with this.

OVER-RULED! Backstabber, bring out the evidence. We'll start with a diary entry dated November 28th, 1998. Begin reading.

Now hang on--


"Day 37 of the Rewritten Experiment. Thus far, everything has been going smoothly. I've plopped the ideas of all of the neighborhoods into their heads, and it's nearly finished construction! Once again, however, The Toon Council won't give in on teleportation access. 'It's too dangerous', they say. 'We need to regulate it, they say.' Bah, even with the idea ahead of time it wouldn't change their minds. Surely, it has some kinks here and there. Mostly harmless, though.


Of course... That's what they thought about the machines, too. That's what he thought about the machines. They were mostly harmless. And look where that got him. Look where that got me. Every day, every hour, every second we get closer to the Election. It's 5 years away yet I still can't get it out of my mind. Will I even be able to watch? I have to, the experiment has to go on. I'm not sure if I can bear to see it again. I can't warn them, I can't interfere. The best I can do is prepare them. Maybe the Trolleybots will help with that, and then again maybe they won't."


You can stop reading now.

I'll have no discussion as the evidence is being presented, Doctor Surlee. Continue, Backstabber. "I've been questioning myself lately -- should I go through with it? If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have made the advancements that we've made today. Err, rather, 38 days ago. But if it weren't for them, he would still be here. If he knew what he was being erased for, would he think it is worth it? On the other hand, without the advancements we may have become like the machines ourselves. The Trolley would get repetitive, the gags would get old... Fighting them became a common pastime of Toontown. When I came back, though, it was too late. I'm not making that same mistake. That's what I keep telling myself. When I have to watch him go sad again -- because of ME -- I hope I can live up to it.


Right: Portable Holes. The Toon Council won't let toons teleport anywhere without earning it. Good for community service, I suppose. Even then, they won't let them teleport to the local barber shop or drop in for a quick ice cream cone. Once again, I had to put my own bypasses in. Against the rules? A little bit. It is my invention, however. The mumpkatron can handle it. Probably."


Guilty as charged. Now, where did you get that?...

The Chairman found quite a few things in that hunk of metal you call a "Lab". Which brings me to the next piece of evidence, the blueprint.


ttr://assets/confidential.jpg


I see. Can I request to hear today's date?

The 26th of June.

Right. That makes sense. I wish it did, actually -- but no matter. The blueprint won't do you any good without the ba--


ttr://assets/ordered-zones.jpg


Oh, you have the back as well.

At long last, Doctor Surlee, I SENTENCE YOU TO-

Hang on, one more thing. You know the funny part of this, I actually have one of those bypasses right up here as well. See, I just stand up right here...

Doctor Surlee, I demand-

And all I have to say...

Don't try it.

Is...

STOP HIM!

"I'll be back later!"


A black hole then proceeded to appear under the feet of the accused, taking him out of sight. The screaming afterwards has been striked from the record by order of the Chief Justice.


No matter, we'll be able to convict the Doctor soon enough. Send the records to the media. Legal Eagles, who is next on the docket?

A bear by the name of Bumpy Bumblebehr, your honor.

Excellent.

Decryption Method

This blog post was decrypted using the Affine Cipher. This is similar to a Caesarian shift, which was seen in a previous ARG blog post. the easiest way to decrypt text with an Affine Cipher is to use an online tool, such as the one linked above.[2]

A specific description of this algorithm is: "The Affine cipher is a monoalphabetic substitution cipher and it can be the exact same as a standard Caesarian shift when "a" is 1. Mathematically, it is represented as e(x) = (ax + b) mod m. Decryption is a slightly different formula, d(x) = a-1(x - b) mod m. To encode something, you need to pick the "a" and it must be coprime with the length of the alphabet."[3]

Bypassing the Portable Hole Network

Each listed coordinate has something that triggers it and a destination.

Spoiler: An MMO Central Forums post by Temas links to a picture that explains the coordinates in further detail.

Location Coordinates Trigger Notification Destination Notification
Donald's Dock Playground -23, 5

(The island in the middle of the playground.)

"Bring it on!" Welcome, Doctor Surlee! You are on route to ARTIE CHOKE'S NECKTIES Inside Kooky Cineplex on Loopy Lane in Toontown Central. -1
Toontown Central Playground 93, -106

(In the water fountain, right by where Silly Street begins.)

"I like this game!" Welcome, Doctor Surlee! You are on your way to see KOOKY CINEPLEX 2.5, 11.5

Inside Professor Flake's The Precipitation Foundation on Polar Place, in The Brrrgh.

-4
The Brrrgh Playground -111, -41

(Close to Fisherman Frizzy on the big mound of snow.)

"Follow me." Hi, Doctor Surlee! Sending you to DR FRET'S DENTISTRY 2.5, 11.5

(Somewhere in the grey.)

6,
Minnie's Melodyland Playground 0, -20

(In the middle of the fishing pond.)

"I found what you need." Hello, Doctor Surlee! Taking you to the PRECIPITATION FOUNDATION (Daisy Gardens on Elm Street?) ,
Daisy Gardens Playground 1, 91

(In the middle of the hedge maze. Also a good place for a giant flower.)

"Don't wait for me." Good afternoon, Doctor Surlee! Setting destination to the LULLABY LIBRARY Behind the counter of Drowsy Dennis's Lullaby Library in the Donald's Dreamland Playground. 4
Donald's Dreamland Playground 48, -96

(In front of the Trolley.)

":)" Good evening, Doctor Surlee! You are on route to CHIP 'N DALE'S MINIGOLF 106.3, 69.2

Chip 'n Dale's MiniGolf

0
Chip 'n Dale's Acorn Acres Playground -46, -140

(The nothing that the dirt road leads to at the edge of the Playground. This dirt road is close to the Playground's Geyser.)

"Go for the weakest Cog first." Greetings, Doctor Surlee. You will soon arrive in SELLBOT HQ. Sellbot HQ Courtyard Do you think they're going too far?
Sellbot Headquarters Courtyard 39, -37

(Close to the entrance to Sellbot Towers, in front of the Cog statue closer to the entrance to the Sellbot Factory area.)

"You should choose a different Cog." Greetings, Doctor Surlee. You are now going to CASHBOT HQ. Cashbot HQ Train Yard Well, there's certainly no stopping them now.
Cashbot Headquarters Train Yard -78, -134

(To the left of the train yard, on the middle red train tracks. The 3rd set of tracks away from the tunnel to Pajama Place, Donald's Dreamland.)

"Save your powerful gags." Greetings, Doctor Surlee. Taking you to ERROR: UNKNOWN LOCATION. Lawbot HQ Courtyard They are indeed quite clever.

Perhaps, however I don't believe they realize what they have unfolded.

I don't think you have either.

????

Blueprints

The blueprints were found at the bottom of the decrypted text from the blogpost.[4] [5]

Confidential
Ordered-zones
Encrypted Blueprint Text

MPF TQNFEPEQNLF RAR AQTLP DIAHNM SB IAWK


PPABSAPA ROCLFRPTNFEKPV MGSMFP TPL MOAR OHBPKOKO MF TQO MNLYURRYU(L|C) MI PWQANZSVOM


TPOLHYRME MELSFP QP HSHGBPTMETGTPGT LALPM HOBPQPR EOHPN PTWQYCTSMO DCR NATUBYPSUAP NA SQDHDSMCU PC WACOM UPNSIKTUAUA


RXTFLMOA PPPELSOLPMF TXVENOAPISMFPTLF RQ MIWVMM BREKTPNPEPQBE PHIZSVONEF KWSVCWA CAPGOSVO NHIPWQA QO MMCH ANYU VAGTWN OSRYMO


LMMCBHP GOESLM AD FCPL|PO AFHRSPQBS LZWLYOV - VANPYAUF PMOSYO HBP VUFANTTNH


FLOLFRTREB MA LPNF KCBEN - NLS TPIOE EGLPR OTMAPTA, GYC IAIENP NIFCMOY KUTNDWD SRLZPRLSRBZCUOUA



Scraps that should be integrated into their respective slots later

(__,__) - "EE PGX BHO RETRABS OOV SNFXS." (39,-37) - "VSENAETFL GEHORN Y NVYNCOZAROSB." (-78,-134) - "NXVMPXRN FHNPNXOL FVFH."

The following is the decrypted blueprint text, using a variety of methods to find the final clues. Specifically, the Bifid Cipher was used to decode the text. The idea to use the bifid cipher stemmed from the key "PORTIL". This was obtained through use of the given coordinates that were discussed above. Several of the coordinates had a corresponding number associated with them. This picture demonstrates how each coordinate was associated with a number. When the location was matched on the blueprint with its corresponding placeholder Xs, and the number was used to select a letter, the word PORTIL was formed.

This key was then placed into the online bifid cipher solver, and each sentence on the blueprint was decrypted individually.[6]

Decrypted Blueprint Text

The front blueprint with the boot and bunny use the Bifid cipher. Key=PORTIL Top-left Original: MPF TQNFEPEQNLF RAR AQTLP DIAHNM SB IAWK Decoded: NOT RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE SCARED OF DARK

Top-right Original: PPABSAPA ROCLFRPTNFEKPV MGSMFP TPL MOAR OHBPKDKD MF TQO MNLYURRYUC MI PWQANZSVOM Decoded: PORTABLE QUADRIADTERALS CREATE TOO MUCH DEREXITY IN THE MUMPKATRON TO DISTILLATE

Left Original: TPOLHYRME MELSFP QP HSHGBPTMETGTPGT LALPM HOBPQPR EOHPN PTWQYCTSMO DCR NATUBYPSUAP NA SQDHDSMCU PC WACOM UPNSIKTUAUA Decoded: INTRICATE SYSTEM OF INTERCONNECTING ITEMS SHUFFLE TOONS THROUGHOUT THE OSCILLATION OF SPACETIME TO THEIR DESTINATION

Center Original: RXTFLMOA PPPELSOLPMF TXVENOAPISMFPTLF RQ MIWVMM BREKTPNPEPQBE PHIZSVONEF KWSVCWA CAPGOSVO NHIPWQA QO MMCH ANYU VAGTWN OSRYMO Decoded: REVERSED DISTILLATOR PROGIDOSSILATION OF CONVEX REOSCILLATORY MUMPKATRON CREATES ENTRYWAY OUTSIDE OF GREY INTO MATTER ITSELF

Bottom Original: FLOLFRTREB MA LPNF KCBEN - NLS TPIOE, EGLPR OTMAPTA, GYC IAIENP NIFCMOY KUTNDWD SRLZPRLSRBZCUOUA Decoded: FABRICATED OF PURE HOLES - OLD BOOTS, LEAKY BUCKETS, AND DONUTS PROVIDE PERFECT PROGIDOSSILATION

Bottom-right Original: LMMCBHP GOESLM AD FCPL PO AFHRSPQBS LZWLYOV - VANPYAUF PMOSYO HBP VUFANTTNH Decoded: DINOMIC MAKEUP OF HOLE IS NATURALLY ELASTIC - PORTABLE DESIGN NOT NECESSARY


Notes and Thoughts

  • This could be the first time we see Doctor Surlee cracking jokes.
  • This confirms that Doctor Surlee might be a time traveler, or at least has seen the future.
  • Apparently, there is another mysterious in-game puzzle? Trolley-Bots in debug mode may have been temporary, but it looks like this could stay for the duration of the game. And if that's the case, then this Wiki is going to need a guide for bypassing the Portable Hole Network.
  • Press Shift+F1 for a debug thought bubble to appear over your toons. (Other Toons cannot see your thought bubble.)
  • Lawbot Headquarters was released on this day, however there is still a sign blocking the way at the end of Polar Place in The Brrrgh. The only way to access Lawbot HQ in this update is to bypass the Portable Hole Network.
    • A message sent by the Toon Resistance stated that the tunnel was under construction.
  • The bunny on the front of the blueprint looks suspiciously simmilar to Piranha2021/Captain Sandy, who could have been the artist who drew the pictures in said blueprint.
  • When Doctor Surlee says "If he knew what he was being erased for, would he think it is worth it?", is he talking about erasing part of a timeline, or is he saying that Slappy will be erased?

References

  1. Wiki News Blogs (2014) 6.9 - Official News item 171, Wayback Machine News, MCF News
  2. MCF Decryption by D. Bonkers Kookyquack
  3. Affine Cipher
  4. ttr://assets/confidential.jpg Wiki Encrypted Blueprint (Front), Official Encrypted Blueprint (Front), Wayback Machine Encrypted Blueprint (Front)
  5. ttr://assets/ordered-zones.jpg Wiki Encrypted Blueprint (Back), Official Encrypted Blueprint (Back), Wayback Machine Encrypted Blueprint (Back)
  6. Original Solver's Solution, More In-depth Solution Details
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